Today was a day full of MANY emotions (mainly due to my son leaving on a school trip for the week). In the past I would stuff these feelings down with chocolates, breads, chips, pop and anything else I could get my hands on. Today was a FIGHT not to turn to these old habits. It's so much easier to stuff the emotions down rather than feel the sadness/worry/stress. It was a battle of the mind today to NOT turn to junk when I so desperately wanted to. As each emotion came up throughout the day, I fought the urge to turn to food and let myself feel the sadness for what it was and allowed it to pass. I did good 99% of the day except for one moment when I turned to my homemade granola in the fridge (which is a healthier fix). I think I burned more calories fighting the urges than I would have walking around the block! My hubby on the other hand thinks I am crazy for being so emotional over my son going on a school trip for the week and that's when I remind him he doesn't know what it's like to be a Mom. After all, a Mom worries if he packed enough clothes, if he has enough money, if he'll be safe......the list goes on and on. A week feels like a month! I think a LOT of it also has to do with the fact that when we dropped my son off at 5:45 am this morning, he was kind enough to remind me after I FINALLY let go from hugging him that this is only for the week and after next year, he'll be gone a lot longer once he follows his dreams and begins his new journey (did I mention HIS DREAMS are also a Mom's worst NIGHTMARE - lets just say this mom is praying he changes his mind in the next year and chooses a new career - my "reverse psychology" has not worked the last two years ! BUT slowly I am coming to the conclusion if this dream means this much to him than I can put my feelings aside and support him as I would want the same if I had a dream I wanted to follow) - the emotions of seeing my baby boy growing up, having him gone on a trip for the week so far away and the thoughts of what the next couple years will bring would have been enough to binge in the past, but today I decided to try something different (and trust me this was no easy task - I had a lot of demons in my mind to fight - and they almost won when I drove by Tim Hortons toda (I literally had my wallet out for the ice cap but drove right on by) but I didn't let them! I decided instead of binging on food, I would take the time to cook HEALTHY foods for my family. I spent the afternoon making homemade Roasted Red Pepper Soup (and boy was it YUMMY!!!!! who would have known peeling roasted peppers could pass so much time!) and Homemade Meatloaf - needless to say my hubby came home to the best smelling house AND was VERY impressed with tonights dinner (I think he and my youngest son are secretly hoping my oldest son goes on more trips so I actually cook dinners like this!). It felt so good to do something other than eat, and not start the roller coaster of emotion after eating the junk food which in turn caused more eating in the past. Changing old habits is EXTREMELY HARD, yet so rewarding when you do! At least I have a full year to practice! HAHAHA