It's been awhile since I have been on here. A lot has happened since my last blog. We have finished our "POSH" program, I finally reached my goal of becoming a Certified Reflexologist AND I managed to get away on a much needed two week vacation in Muskoka with my family. I've been struggling with what to write lately as the last couple sessions of our posh program things from my past came up that I thought I had dealt with and some I didn't know were there, so it brought me back to a place I thought I wouldn't retreat to yet I did - FOOD. It wasn't until today when my amazing Reflexologist recommended a book to me and told me what it was about that I remembered what I knew yet forgot. Food IS an addiction just as drugs, sex, alcohol, caffeine, etc are., I thought I had got to the root of my food issues but I have just pulled more onion layers away. At first you feel like a failure as just when you think you got it, it crops back up. I think a lot of the problem is we are far too hard on ourselves. If others have stumbling blocks we see it's not as bad as they think and we encourage them, but when we have that stumbling block the world ends and we feel like a failure, we talk bad to ourselves and it feels like we will never win. A lot of it is finding a new way to look at it (and I'm sure I've mentioned this before yet I keep forgetting it!). In hind sight gaining my weight back is NOT losing, it's just simply another stumbling stone to walk over. Each stone brings a layer to the surface to heal and clean which leads you one step further to the goal. We can take the fast path and get there quicker, but risk the chance of it not lasting, or we can take the slower path and enjoy the scenery along the way, feeling, healing and just being at one with each stone that needs dusting off. Everyone thinks the "destination" is the goal, but I am beginning to realize that the "journey along the way" is what's the most healing/rewarding. It's not easy but it's so worth it. Like my Reflexologist said to me today "most times the closer you get to the root, the more uncomfortable it gets", this is so true and why so many just give up at this point as it's hard as heck and it's sitting with things you don't want to sit with. I've allowed myself to just "be" and to "let go". I am letting go of the layers, I am letting go of the destination, I am letting go of need to control this journey and I am just allowing things to flow in it's own time and space. With letting go, comes a sense of peace over my body and mind as when I let go I no longer feel like I am failing anyone, I no longer feel the pressure of reaching my destination, I just feel a sense of peace wash over me knowing I will get there "one stone at a time".
For now I allow my body, mind and spirit to be with what has been stirred up in me from the last few sessions, to be with it, feel it and begin to heal it, knowing that when "I" feel ready, I will begin to climb more stones. I think it's so important to listen to our bodies and allow them the time it needs to "BE". I am so blessed to have such amazing support and continue to learn so much along the way. My goal in this "pause" is to not look at the food I eat as "good" or "bad", "failure" or "success", but just as food, so there is no attachment to it.One thing I have noticed since taking this "pause", is my body does not like it as I can feel the aches/pains/and body symptoms again so it reminds me that I need to continue on this journey as I sure didn't miss these symptoms.
I am still going to blog my journey, it just may not be as frequent as before and it may include new things as who knows what will come with each stone that is being turned. Remember never to give up. Take a "pause" when you feel you need it, but continue to learn and grow.
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Feel free to visit my Reflexoloy page at www.solesjourney.ca
Hugs
Christina
For now I allow my body, mind and spirit to be with what has been stirred up in me from the last few sessions, to be with it, feel it and begin to heal it, knowing that when "I" feel ready, I will begin to climb more stones. I think it's so important to listen to our bodies and allow them the time it needs to "BE". I am so blessed to have such amazing support and continue to learn so much along the way. My goal in this "pause" is to not look at the food I eat as "good" or "bad", "failure" or "success", but just as food, so there is no attachment to it.One thing I have noticed since taking this "pause", is my body does not like it as I can feel the aches/pains/and body symptoms again so it reminds me that I need to continue on this journey as I sure didn't miss these symptoms.
I am still going to blog my journey, it just may not be as frequent as before and it may include new things as who knows what will come with each stone that is being turned. Remember never to give up. Take a "pause" when you feel you need it, but continue to learn and grow.
.
Feel free to visit my Reflexoloy page at www.solesjourney.ca
Hugs
Christina