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Last night was the first night of the POSH (Personalized Optimal Sexy Health program) I started through Affinity Wellness. While I was very nervous, I am glad I went. The day started with some fabulous words of advise from my Chiropractor. I was anxious to go to the program at night as we had to track our food for the week. I had a BAD week of eating as unfortunately I am an "emotional eater" and have been my whole life. It's been stressful at work right now with me quitting my job and having to work extra hours until we get caught up with all the new changes there. With that comes added stress, which for me means unhealthy eating and "comfort food". At first I thought of either cheating and not writing ALL I really was eating OR purposely eating healthy that week so it looked good, than it hit me, if I do this, I am only cheating myself. I bit the bullet and wrote EVERYTHING that entered my mouth (boy you don't realize how unhealthy and how much you really are eating until you track it - as I learned a few years ago when I did a dif. program). I felt so much better when my Chiropractor said to me "There is no judgement" - WOW how powerful these words can be! She hit it right on the nail. I feared being "judged" and to hear someone tell me, we WONT be judged took a huge weight off my shoulders. Why is it we as a society worry so much what others think of us? I am getting much better than I use to be at not worrying what others think of me, but this just proves I still have some parts of it left in me to heal. I am a firm believer in living your life for you and not worrying what others think, but I've realized this week that I don't walk my talk and it's time I start working at this. I still walked into the meeting that night anxious to "share my story" but being in the presence of the ladies running it helped ease my worries as there was "NO judgement" that night, and in fact they turned it around to help me see how I should be proud to be there and wanting to make changes. I've realized rather than "judging myself", I need to honor my "dark side" and embrace it. The harder we try and fight it, the longer it will linger and run our life. If I can except I had an unhealthy week and look at ways to change it (E.G. other things to turn to instead of food when I am stressed, sad, angry, happy) than I am on the road to embracing both my light and dark sides and becoming "Balanced". It's amazing how when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. I am thankful for this amazing opportunity that Affinity has offered us, and I look forward to seeing where this journey takes me.
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