I started a weight loss facebook group for a few friends who are also on this journey. This week was the first time I have been open with others (including my husband) about MANY things regarding my weight. A sweet Soul posted a quote about doing things that scare you as it's so freeing, and while it is NOT EASY, it IS FREEING! On my blog I posted "Before" pictures along with my current weight and my measurements - I have NEVER shared this with anyone other than my doctors and program leaders - not even my husband OR best friend since birth knows these. I was scared as hell to do it, but I FINALLY figured if I REALLY want to get "SERIOUS" about losing this weight, I have to be open, honest and realistic. In the past before ALL the other things I tried to lose weight, I would be ashamed of myself for letting myself "get this far", but after all the years of learning, growing and peeling the "onion layers" away, I am starting to LOVE MYSELF. I realize that so many things have contributed to this weight gain, and some of these things were out of my control as I didn't know how to "deal with them" in the past, and everything that my husband would call a "waste of money" over the years has actually been a blessing in disguise as each thing I have tried in the past and THOUGHT I failed at, has actually peeled a layer of onion away in me and caused me to get to this point today to be open and honest with those on my journey (and I KNOW down the road I will be able to post those measurements here as well, but for now I need to take baby steps).
Another thing I HAVE NEVER shared before was how much this weight has taken over my life. Until you are overweight, you can't understand the DAILY things that run through our head. Things like worrying about going to visit people (especially when there are groups and those un sturdy card table chairs come out) and for days before stressing about what kind of chairs they will have out and wanting to get there early to make sure you can pick one that will "hold your weight". Or on family vacations when your whole family goes on cool excursions, yet you pretend to "be sick" or "un interested" as you pre look at ALL the excursion and the "weight limits" for each one, not to mention stressing wondering if you will fit in the seats on the plane or at each excursion. In the past I would have "ate these emotions away", but now I am seeing that I CAN make these changes so I don't have to let this weight "run me". So many think I am a "stick in the mud", but between my IBS, Anxieties and weight, it's hard to just "go with the flow" and join in the fun. Another thing I deal with constantly is people saying oh wow look at that 300 lb person (with comments on and one), and what they don't realize is some of there very close friends and loved ones COULD be close to that weight and now you just devastated them, but you don't think anything of it as your friend/loved one may not LOOK 300 lbs to you so you assume they are a lot less.
There is something about being "open and honest" with myself that lets me feel free and finally allows me to let go of the need to keep this weight on as my protection and bodyguard. I feel like I no longer need it. Hmmmmm this words came out of no where is just HIT ME - that's the great thing with this journey - you never know what layers will peel and what realizations you will make.
Be kind to ALL you meet, as you never know what the person may be struggling with. Before making fun of others, ask yourself. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary to say? - it will save a LOT of hurt to those around you.
Another thing I HAVE NEVER shared before was how much this weight has taken over my life. Until you are overweight, you can't understand the DAILY things that run through our head. Things like worrying about going to visit people (especially when there are groups and those un sturdy card table chairs come out) and for days before stressing about what kind of chairs they will have out and wanting to get there early to make sure you can pick one that will "hold your weight". Or on family vacations when your whole family goes on cool excursions, yet you pretend to "be sick" or "un interested" as you pre look at ALL the excursion and the "weight limits" for each one, not to mention stressing wondering if you will fit in the seats on the plane or at each excursion. In the past I would have "ate these emotions away", but now I am seeing that I CAN make these changes so I don't have to let this weight "run me". So many think I am a "stick in the mud", but between my IBS, Anxieties and weight, it's hard to just "go with the flow" and join in the fun. Another thing I deal with constantly is people saying oh wow look at that 300 lb person (with comments on and one), and what they don't realize is some of there very close friends and loved ones COULD be close to that weight and now you just devastated them, but you don't think anything of it as your friend/loved one may not LOOK 300 lbs to you so you assume they are a lot less.
There is something about being "open and honest" with myself that lets me feel free and finally allows me to let go of the need to keep this weight on as my protection and bodyguard. I feel like I no longer need it. Hmmmmm this words came out of no where is just HIT ME - that's the great thing with this journey - you never know what layers will peel and what realizations you will make.
Be kind to ALL you meet, as you never know what the person may be struggling with. Before making fun of others, ask yourself. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary to say? - it will save a LOT of hurt to those around you.