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I had an episode last night that caused me to go back to a place in time when I had my nervous breakdown in 2009 due to allowing my FEARS to ride over my mind. I ALMOST allowed this to happen again, but thankfully my mind is a LOT stronger than it was back in 2009 and my FEARS are a lot less stronger. For those few moments after a comment was made from someone that took me back to 2009, I felt like I had lost control again and the fears had taken over. Instead of running like I did back than, I began to allow the feelings to rise to the surface and STOPPED them before the fear got too far. I was able to see what was happening and was able to show my fears that I was in control. Slowly the fear began to leave my mind than my stomach and eventually my heart was able to see the truth behind it. Not going to lie it still lingers a little as it really hit me hard but the more we can look fear in the face and show it we are in control the easier it gets.
The biggest lesson from this experience last night was to remind myself to set CLEAR boundaries so that I only allow myself to go places I want to go (conversations), and to not allow other peoples ideas become my own if that is not what I want. It's also to remember that when we question things, we need to "tune out" what others are trying to make us believe and go deep within our heart and see what our intuition is telling us. I tend allow people to cross my boundaries for fear of upsetting or hurting them, and in the end I am usually the one that ends up hurt or upset. I know this was a test for me to see if I will allow myself to be swayed by others still and allow my boundaries to be crossed or if I will start speaking up for myself and what I believe to be the truth deep within my Soul.
In life we always want to "save" others and we want people to follow our paths, but the ONLY person we truly can save is ourselves and the only path we need to be worried about walking is our own. We are all on different paths in this "school of life" and just because someone isn't on YOUR path, doesn't mean they are on the wrong path. You can walk beside people and help them WHEN they want it, but you can't walk this path for them. No one truly knows the "right path" only God/Universe/Source (which ever you chose to call it) knows it, so we walk the best path that we feel to be truth in our heart.
I think the sooner we stop trying to make people follow our paths the smoother life will flow
The biggest lesson from this experience last night was to remind myself to set CLEAR boundaries so that I only allow myself to go places I want to go (conversations), and to not allow other peoples ideas become my own if that is not what I want. It's also to remember that when we question things, we need to "tune out" what others are trying to make us believe and go deep within our heart and see what our intuition is telling us. I tend allow people to cross my boundaries for fear of upsetting or hurting them, and in the end I am usually the one that ends up hurt or upset. I know this was a test for me to see if I will allow myself to be swayed by others still and allow my boundaries to be crossed or if I will start speaking up for myself and what I believe to be the truth deep within my Soul.
In life we always want to "save" others and we want people to follow our paths, but the ONLY person we truly can save is ourselves and the only path we need to be worried about walking is our own. We are all on different paths in this "school of life" and just because someone isn't on YOUR path, doesn't mean they are on the wrong path. You can walk beside people and help them WHEN they want it, but you can't walk this path for them. No one truly knows the "right path" only God/Universe/Source (which ever you chose to call it) knows it, so we walk the best path that we feel to be truth in our heart.
I think the sooner we stop trying to make people follow our paths the smoother life will flow