I was driving in the car the other day after coming home from a week away in the Caribbean for a family cruise and was thinking of how far I have come from the person I was 10 + years ago. I remembered a conversation I had with my old natrualpath at the time YEARS ago when I was someone who was affraid of her own shadow and how he said I needed to make changes (as my whole life was based on fears and I was trapped in it). When I think of the fears I have now (as I still do have some), it fails in comparisson to the fears that haunted me not so long ago and I see just how much I have grown and faced. When we look past the things we still need to work on, we begin to see ALL the things we HAVE worked on and over come, and that brings in a whole new sense of hope and courage. I than refelcted on our current trip and all the things I did on this vacation that I NEVER would have done on past ones. I spent the WHOLE day on the ship all by myself while my husband and kids ventured off to Jamaica for a day of tubing and climbing. For the first time in years, I was the one to recommend they go and leave me behind. In the past they wouldn't have gone OR I would have stayed locked in my room panicking until they got back. Not gonna lie, at first I felt a litte uneasy with taking on this HUGE ship on my own (of course I picked the biggest ship out there to tackle), but I said a little prayer to my passed on loved ones to be with me (which I might add, when I went up to the top deck a butterfly greeted me - which is a sign my Grandma always sends me), packed my nap sack with my Music and books and headed off to my favourite part of the ship. I spent several hours listening to music, sipping on my starbucks (which I had to take the elevators to get - another thing I wouldn't have done before - rid the elevators all day alone) and reading my books. My heart filled with joy and peace as for once I didn't lock myself in a room all alone. While I did get lost twice (and a bit of panic set it being in a LONG tight hallway not knowing where I was), I didn't go into a panic attack and just worked my way through it. For the average person this seems like no big deal, but for someone who suffers with anxieties, this is a HUGE accomplishment! I than began to think of ALL the things I have done in the last couple years that I NEVER would have even thought of attempting. It's like I don't even rememebr the "Christina" I was those 10+ years ago, who NEVER would have thought I would be the person I am today. This gets me excited thinking "I wonder what I will be like in another 10 years!". When you have challenges in your life, don't let them get you down. Tackle one at a time and remember ALL the things you HAVE overcome already.
My next challenge is to step foot on (and hopefully go all the way around) the Skywalk in Vegas for our next getaway. My husband said there is no way I will do it, so that puts the need in me to want to do it that much more! My goal is to step more and more outside my comfort zone over the next chapter of my life to make up for all the years I stayed stuck tight in a bud.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
My next challenge is to step foot on (and hopefully go all the way around) the Skywalk in Vegas for our next getaway. My husband said there is no way I will do it, so that puts the need in me to want to do it that much more! My goal is to step more and more outside my comfort zone over the next chapter of my life to make up for all the years I stayed stuck tight in a bud.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."