I decided to do two posts today as I've had a few major realizations. First I had an amazing reading and healing session with my friend TJ from Celestial Truth, and walked away with a lot of treasures including knowledge, healing, realizations, confirmations and reminders to trust my "inner truth" as it is leading me correctly. Too often I doubt myself and question things I "feel in my gut", today was a reminder to start listening to myself more and allow my body to heal from all these lives of hurts and traumas. I look forward to a lot more learning and growing in the months to come (especially when she gets her classes up and running). It's amazing what can come to the surface to heal when you are ready for it.
Tonight another friend also, posted the above quote (all my intuitive friends always seem to post things just when I NEED to hear them - love how the Universe works), and it was just what I NEEDED to hear today. Today was my "first official" day of "clean eating" (I was not supposed to have breads, junk, etc only Veggies, Fruit, Nuts, Seeds, Protein which will be my menu for the next 6 months). I was doing SO good this am, I pre packed my healthy breakfast (smoothie), snack (pears with hemp seeds), water and tea for work and was motivated to start this new beginning after having my splurge day for my b-day yesterday. I was all set until I showed up for work to find Homemade muffins with yummy peanut butter icing on them that our employee had made (on a side not, I've been bugging him for MONTHS to make them, and he kept putting it off....of all days to have these tasty treats sitting on my desk, this was not the day :/ !!!!) While I resisted temptation for the first hour - sipping on my smoothie while "visions of banana muffins ran through my head", I could no longer take it. I made EVERY excuse in the book to convince myself I could just have one as I didn't want to make him feel bad (which I didn't as that's how I am BUT the temptation was a HUGE part of it too). I went back and fourth for awhile when I finally said I NEED IT! I bit the bullet and ate it - licking the icing one finger scoop at a time savoring each mouth full. Dang it was soooooo good, but after I felt guilty. I felt like I had failed myself (as in the past I was in the same boat when ever I would cheat with eating off my "Diet" menu), I felt like I failed all of you (since I am blogging my journey and am supposed to be eating healthy) and I felt like I failed H&H (POSH). While the guilt didn't last as long as it would have in the past, I still felt it. Than, when we went home for lunch, I decided to have the left over noodles from our Chinese supper last night as no one else likes them and I didn't want to see $10 go down the drain (well that was my excuse anyway), I did the "I will re start again tomorrow" thing in my mind which I always did and felt better. All was good until I went back to work and saw those muffins on my desk again. I was good until mid afternoon when I was STARVING as I forgot my snack at home. I tried to fight the craving but it didn't work :/ I had ANOTHER muffin :/ While I didn't feel guilt the second time, my body paid the price (and still is).
It wasn't till seeing the above quote a friend posted that I truly felt peace with today's "imperfections". Yes, I failed at "being perfect", but seeing this post helped me realize two things:
1. No one is perfect, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner life will get easier for everyone. I put far too much pressure on myself, and I NEED to realize that I will make mistakes on this journey and allowing myself to make them without judgement is what I need to strive to accomplish. These "imperfections" are what teach me the lessons.
2. I need to focus on the POSITIVE. Yes, I had some "imperfections" BUT, I also made a lot of good choices in the day as well, like having my smoothie which was full of veggies and goodness. Snacking on fruit and seeds, re fulling my body with water and herbal teas, going out to fill my fridge with fruits/veggies and healthy things and washing them all up and cutting them so they are ready to grab in the fridge (cause we all know when it's ready to eat, we will eat it, but when it's sitting in the crisper our green bin will likely be seeing it). All in all it was a LOT healthier day than I would have had a week ago.
I always tell myself I need to not judge myself, but I am realizing things are put in my path to test me and until I learn my lesson, they will continue to fall on my path.
Tomorrow will be a new day (and I warned all our employees NO MORE Homemade goodies till I am fully done there :). May this help you to remember we are NOT perfect and that is perfectly OK.
Tonight another friend also, posted the above quote (all my intuitive friends always seem to post things just when I NEED to hear them - love how the Universe works), and it was just what I NEEDED to hear today. Today was my "first official" day of "clean eating" (I was not supposed to have breads, junk, etc only Veggies, Fruit, Nuts, Seeds, Protein which will be my menu for the next 6 months). I was doing SO good this am, I pre packed my healthy breakfast (smoothie), snack (pears with hemp seeds), water and tea for work and was motivated to start this new beginning after having my splurge day for my b-day yesterday. I was all set until I showed up for work to find Homemade muffins with yummy peanut butter icing on them that our employee had made (on a side not, I've been bugging him for MONTHS to make them, and he kept putting it off....of all days to have these tasty treats sitting on my desk, this was not the day :/ !!!!) While I resisted temptation for the first hour - sipping on my smoothie while "visions of banana muffins ran through my head", I could no longer take it. I made EVERY excuse in the book to convince myself I could just have one as I didn't want to make him feel bad (which I didn't as that's how I am BUT the temptation was a HUGE part of it too). I went back and fourth for awhile when I finally said I NEED IT! I bit the bullet and ate it - licking the icing one finger scoop at a time savoring each mouth full. Dang it was soooooo good, but after I felt guilty. I felt like I had failed myself (as in the past I was in the same boat when ever I would cheat with eating off my "Diet" menu), I felt like I failed all of you (since I am blogging my journey and am supposed to be eating healthy) and I felt like I failed H&H (POSH). While the guilt didn't last as long as it would have in the past, I still felt it. Than, when we went home for lunch, I decided to have the left over noodles from our Chinese supper last night as no one else likes them and I didn't want to see $10 go down the drain (well that was my excuse anyway), I did the "I will re start again tomorrow" thing in my mind which I always did and felt better. All was good until I went back to work and saw those muffins on my desk again. I was good until mid afternoon when I was STARVING as I forgot my snack at home. I tried to fight the craving but it didn't work :/ I had ANOTHER muffin :/ While I didn't feel guilt the second time, my body paid the price (and still is).
It wasn't till seeing the above quote a friend posted that I truly felt peace with today's "imperfections". Yes, I failed at "being perfect", but seeing this post helped me realize two things:
1. No one is perfect, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner life will get easier for everyone. I put far too much pressure on myself, and I NEED to realize that I will make mistakes on this journey and allowing myself to make them without judgement is what I need to strive to accomplish. These "imperfections" are what teach me the lessons.
2. I need to focus on the POSITIVE. Yes, I had some "imperfections" BUT, I also made a lot of good choices in the day as well, like having my smoothie which was full of veggies and goodness. Snacking on fruit and seeds, re fulling my body with water and herbal teas, going out to fill my fridge with fruits/veggies and healthy things and washing them all up and cutting them so they are ready to grab in the fridge (cause we all know when it's ready to eat, we will eat it, but when it's sitting in the crisper our green bin will likely be seeing it). All in all it was a LOT healthier day than I would have had a week ago.
I always tell myself I need to not judge myself, but I am realizing things are put in my path to test me and until I learn my lesson, they will continue to fall on my path.
Tomorrow will be a new day (and I warned all our employees NO MORE Homemade goodies till I am fully done there :). May this help you to remember we are NOT perfect and that is perfectly OK.