"What if I fall?"..... "Oh but darling what if you FLY!"
![Picture](/uploads/4/6/1/1/46115245/9093100.jpg?1422762586)
Welcome to my "Journey"
I've decided to attempt a blog to journal my "journey" in hopes of it helping others along the way, and as a place to "release" all that is inside me. I have struggled with weight my WHOLE life ever since I was a child. Through the years I have tried MANY things to lose weight, but I always seemed to gain it back and than some. My problem was, I was so focused on losing weight and being accepted that I lost myself along the way. I began to hate my image and myself and this created more eating to hide the emotions that were trapped inside me. I don't regret any of the paths I took in the past as they all have contributed to getting me to the point I am at today. We can't truly begin to "heal" until we can look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU", "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL". If we don't love ourselves for who we are, how can we possibly allow others to love us or how could we possibly heal? I am slowly getting to this point. I am learning to love every "inch" of me inside and out. I am learning that "this is MY life" and I need to live it for "ME" not for what others expect me to be. This is the most healing way to live that I have ever known. For in the end it is only us who will have regrets with the choices we did or didn't make when it's our turn to 'cross over'. I've also came to the realization after many diets and boot camps that I am never going to be a size 4 and I am ok with that. I no longer want to be "thin" I want to be "HEALTHY". I have a habit of putting others ahead of my own needs, and it wasn't until a wonderful soul said these amazing words to me a few years ago that I realized I NEED to start living my own life. He said "What is it you do for YOU?". My jaw almost hit the floor as I didn't know how to answer him. All my life I have been a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and played out those roles, but I NEVER fully knew who "I" was. How sad is it to be 31 years old and not know who YOU are. This is when I knew I needed to make changes, and where my true journey began. I thought by losing weight I would find the real me and happiness but this was not true, it only made me eat more as I would feel guilt for having to quit as I just couldn't make the changes, or my body just couldn't handle the grueling workouts. It was when another amazing Soul told me that I am not meant to "diet" and do "boot camps" as that is not how MY body/personality works. Once I start finding myself and loving myself (of course eating healthier), the weight will begin to fall of naturally. Being I have also suffered with Depression and Anxieties my whole life, food was my "comfort" and I needed to find other ways to coupe with my emotions, I also needed to heal all the parts in me (my inner child) that was hurting from all the things I have been through over the years (losing my Mom at the age of 4, being bullied in school, being insecure....the list goes on and on). Losing weight isn't just about dieting till we get down to a certain weight (cause I can pretty must guarantee you will gain it all back plus more if this is your path ~ trust me I tried it for YEARS!), it's about HEALING the Mind, Body and Soul along the way. People don't "chose" to be fat. Something inside of us contributes (whether it be emotions or heatlh issues), so please, I ask you to think twice before judging that heavy person sitting in a restaurant eating their meal. Until we "peel away the layers" and look deep at all the painful "junk" inside us, we can never truly begin to heal. From this day on, my journey is no longer about getting thin, it is about "peeling away the layers" and getting healthy. We need to find our passions that lie deep within us so we can have "zest for life" again, for this is the path to truly loving ourselves. I've also learned through the start of this journey that I am an "Empath" (someone who can sense/feel others emotions and can take it on if they don't protect themselves from it). All these years of suffering with depression and anxieties I have struggled with wondering WHY at times my life was so good, yet I was so sad. It wasn't until I began my "Spiritual Path" that I learned I am taking on others "junk". Now I am learning to ask myself when I feel emotions if it is mine, or someone elses. If it is not mine, I ask God/Universe, my Guides and Angels to "take it away" and "Send love, light and healing" to the person it belongs to. This "gift" can be a curse at times and a blessing (especially for someone like me who turns to food for comfort).
The reason I have started this blog up, is I have joined a program to help me get "Healthy" and for me I find "relaxation" and "release" through music and journaling, so I've decided to journal my journey to wellness in hopes of having "release" and maybe helping others along the way. Many find social media as a negative, but I find it a positive (it's all what you partake in and how you see it through your own eyes) as I have had such inspiration through others on their journeys through their daily posts/quotes/songs and met some pretty amazing Souls who have helped me to become the person I am today that I never would have met without it. I can't say where this "journey" will take me, if I will succeed or fail, but I do know I NEED to try it, as I'm am so tired of being "sick and tired". In the end it's not a matter of failing or winning, it's all about taking one step at a time in faith, not knowing where you are going, but that you gave it your all.
*** please note any of the quotes I post I have found off google or facebook. If I know the source of who created it I will post it, they are not all mine. ANY of the things written here are of my OWN personal experiences through MY journey. I do NOT recommend doing ANY of the things I write here, I am simply sharing MY experiences. When ever starting a new way of living ALWAYS consult your Doctor or a professional first.
I've decided to attempt a blog to journal my "journey" in hopes of it helping others along the way, and as a place to "release" all that is inside me. I have struggled with weight my WHOLE life ever since I was a child. Through the years I have tried MANY things to lose weight, but I always seemed to gain it back and than some. My problem was, I was so focused on losing weight and being accepted that I lost myself along the way. I began to hate my image and myself and this created more eating to hide the emotions that were trapped inside me. I don't regret any of the paths I took in the past as they all have contributed to getting me to the point I am at today. We can't truly begin to "heal" until we can look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU", "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL". If we don't love ourselves for who we are, how can we possibly allow others to love us or how could we possibly heal? I am slowly getting to this point. I am learning to love every "inch" of me inside and out. I am learning that "this is MY life" and I need to live it for "ME" not for what others expect me to be. This is the most healing way to live that I have ever known. For in the end it is only us who will have regrets with the choices we did or didn't make when it's our turn to 'cross over'. I've also came to the realization after many diets and boot camps that I am never going to be a size 4 and I am ok with that. I no longer want to be "thin" I want to be "HEALTHY". I have a habit of putting others ahead of my own needs, and it wasn't until a wonderful soul said these amazing words to me a few years ago that I realized I NEED to start living my own life. He said "What is it you do for YOU?". My jaw almost hit the floor as I didn't know how to answer him. All my life I have been a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and played out those roles, but I NEVER fully knew who "I" was. How sad is it to be 31 years old and not know who YOU are. This is when I knew I needed to make changes, and where my true journey began. I thought by losing weight I would find the real me and happiness but this was not true, it only made me eat more as I would feel guilt for having to quit as I just couldn't make the changes, or my body just couldn't handle the grueling workouts. It was when another amazing Soul told me that I am not meant to "diet" and do "boot camps" as that is not how MY body/personality works. Once I start finding myself and loving myself (of course eating healthier), the weight will begin to fall of naturally. Being I have also suffered with Depression and Anxieties my whole life, food was my "comfort" and I needed to find other ways to coupe with my emotions, I also needed to heal all the parts in me (my inner child) that was hurting from all the things I have been through over the years (losing my Mom at the age of 4, being bullied in school, being insecure....the list goes on and on). Losing weight isn't just about dieting till we get down to a certain weight (cause I can pretty must guarantee you will gain it all back plus more if this is your path ~ trust me I tried it for YEARS!), it's about HEALING the Mind, Body and Soul along the way. People don't "chose" to be fat. Something inside of us contributes (whether it be emotions or heatlh issues), so please, I ask you to think twice before judging that heavy person sitting in a restaurant eating their meal. Until we "peel away the layers" and look deep at all the painful "junk" inside us, we can never truly begin to heal. From this day on, my journey is no longer about getting thin, it is about "peeling away the layers" and getting healthy. We need to find our passions that lie deep within us so we can have "zest for life" again, for this is the path to truly loving ourselves. I've also learned through the start of this journey that I am an "Empath" (someone who can sense/feel others emotions and can take it on if they don't protect themselves from it). All these years of suffering with depression and anxieties I have struggled with wondering WHY at times my life was so good, yet I was so sad. It wasn't until I began my "Spiritual Path" that I learned I am taking on others "junk". Now I am learning to ask myself when I feel emotions if it is mine, or someone elses. If it is not mine, I ask God/Universe, my Guides and Angels to "take it away" and "Send love, light and healing" to the person it belongs to. This "gift" can be a curse at times and a blessing (especially for someone like me who turns to food for comfort).
The reason I have started this blog up, is I have joined a program to help me get "Healthy" and for me I find "relaxation" and "release" through music and journaling, so I've decided to journal my journey to wellness in hopes of having "release" and maybe helping others along the way. Many find social media as a negative, but I find it a positive (it's all what you partake in and how you see it through your own eyes) as I have had such inspiration through others on their journeys through their daily posts/quotes/songs and met some pretty amazing Souls who have helped me to become the person I am today that I never would have met without it. I can't say where this "journey" will take me, if I will succeed or fail, but I do know I NEED to try it, as I'm am so tired of being "sick and tired". In the end it's not a matter of failing or winning, it's all about taking one step at a time in faith, not knowing where you are going, but that you gave it your all.
*** please note any of the quotes I post I have found off google or facebook. If I know the source of who created it I will post it, they are not all mine. ANY of the things written here are of my OWN personal experiences through MY journey. I do NOT recommend doing ANY of the things I write here, I am simply sharing MY experiences. When ever starting a new way of living ALWAYS consult your Doctor or a professional first.